"Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last, and the living one. I was dead, and see, I am alive forever and ever; and I have the keys of Death and of Hades. Now write what you have seen, what is, and what is to take place after this." Rev. 1:17-19.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Musings on Parenthood, Power, and Authority



          Proper 21, Year A

Ezekiel 18:1-4, 25-32; Psalm 25:1-8; Philippians 2:1-13; Matthew 21:23-32
O God, you declare your almighty power chiefly in showing mercy and pity: Grant us the fullness of your grace, that we, running to obtain your promises, may become partakers of your heavenly treasure; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.












            Sometimes we twenty-first-century city-dwellers have trouble relating to the ancient agricultural and societal images in Jesus’ parables. We need a lot of background explanation to grasp the nuances of kings and stewards and mustard seeds. But today’s parable from Matthew is one that burrows straight into our hearts. Which one of us has not at some time been the parent or either one of the children in the story that Jesus tells us today?
          When my three children were young teens and preteens, they had a list of Saturday chores. They were supposed to share in the care for the household by taking turns cleaning the bathrooms or dusting or vacuuming in the basement. Every Saturday morning, this working single mom would trudge joylessly to the grocery store. Passing through the den, where my pajama-clad kids were happily ensconced in front of computer games and Saturday morning cartoons, I would intone, “OK, while I’m gone, I want you to do your chores. I want them done before you do anything else. I don’t want to still be nagging you about this on Sunday afternoon!”  
          Every Saturday, my headstrong elder son, who had learned to back-talk in squawks at age seven months, would balk.
“Not now, Mom!” he would holler. “Why do you always make us do chores? None of our friends have to do chores! You are just a neat-freak! Everything is perfectly clean right now! Just leave us alone!”
His younger siblings, in sweet contrast, would always answer, eyes still glued to the TV, “Sure, Mommy! We’ll do it. See ‘ya later!”
When I would come home from my errands, though, it wasn’t unusual to find my elder son’s chores all finished, while his younger siblings were still glued to the TV in their PJ’s.
          As a parent, I wanted to have authority over my children. I wanted them to obey me when I told them to do something, for goodness’ sake. I wanted them to share my vision of a clean house. My blood would boil when my elder son would refuse to do what I asked, and then it would boil again when the younger ones would ignore me. How I dreaded that Saturday power-struggle. Sure, I was tired and wanted help with the cleaning, but I also wanted my kids to know that I was boss, that I was in control of both the housecleaning and their actions.
          When I hear today’s parable, I tend to feel trapped. When it comes to Almighty God, it isn’t often that we dare come out and say “NO!” But it is so easy to talk the talk, yet wimp out on actually putting our Christian words into deeds. In general, just think how much easier it is to “like” something on Facebook than to actually join in the project yourself. When it comes to our Christian lives, it is even harder. God is asking us to do such impossibly difficult things, like loving our enemy and forgiving one another and following him to the Cross. Who is eager to go into that vineyard?! When we concentrate on the children in this parable, it is so easy to feel paralyzed by guilt over our failures. How is this simple parable, then, Good News?
          I think that we need to take a serious look at the father. Is the father here a parent like I was, anxiously obsessed over controlling his children? That’s often the view we have of God, isn’t it? The God described in our first reading sounds more like that kind of a parent: Caring  but powerful, a God who is in control of the lives of all of his children. If we don’t follow through, the prophet warns, “iniquity will be our ruin.” Is it God who wants to control us, I wonder? Or are we the ones who long for the security of a controlling, judging God?
Our world, like Roman-occupied Palestine in Jesus’ day, is a world where it’s easy for the strong take to power over the weak. Power-plays are what we’re used to. Just recently, for example, we’ve been hearing in the news about domestic and child abuse, due to the recent arrests of two NFL players.[1] We’ve been hearing, too, about the “militarization” of our police forces, after the tragedies in Ferguson, Missouri. Police fortified with weapons and riot-gear are agents of physical power and coercion. Angry football players can loom over women and children with the physical force of their tackles and the impunity of their status. They can make us obey, that’s for sure, whether we want to or not. If I had been a more “powerful” and scarier mom-with-a-big-stick, I would have gotten my kids to do their chores without a peep, I bet.
In our lesson today, the religious leaders don’t like it that Jesus is moving in on their territory. He is interfering in Temple matters—chasing out the money-lenders—without their authority. He is putting himself in God’s powerful place. He is messing with the orderly universe in which they operate. In figuring out how to deal with Jesus, they see a power-struggle. Jesus, however, is trying to shake them up. He turns the religious leaders’ fretting about authority to his own ends in today’s parable. Jesus isn’t interested in a power struggle. Authority, unlike power, cannot force itself onto someone by violence. It can only be given.[2] Sometimes, it is bestowed in order to achieve a certain end: A police officer is given authority by the laws of the city, county, or state to make certain arrests. But in many cases, authority must also be freely accepted by those beneath the person in authority.  Beating a child might give you power over him, but not authority. Coming in with riot gear might make you powerful, but it won’t give you authority over someone once you take that gear off. That’s why efforts at community police work—officers walking around a neighborhood every day, getting to know the neighbors and helping people with their daily problems, building mutual respect, has often led to successful outcomes in the communities where it has been tried. Authority is different than power. When Jesus asks the religious leaders—and us—“What do you think?” he is giving us a choice. We can accept his authority, or we can turn away from it. No coercion, no threats, just an invitation: “What do you think?”
God is not the one who wants to throw around his power. As Paul points out, we are dealing with a Lord who willingly takes the form of a slave. In Jesus, we are dealing with a God who bends down into the lowliest of human flesh and even into the weakness of death on a cross in order to raise the weak and the lost up with him in glory. The Lord that Paul describes in today’s letter to the Philippians is as far from the powerful violence of riot police and rampaging NFL players as you can get. This is a God who waits for us to invite him, a God who gives us freedom to choose, over and over and over again.
It is the very open-endedness of the parable that is our Good News. The parable continues to ask, even today, “What do you think?” Our forgiving God continues to invite us all. There is another parable that begins with “a man had two sons.”[3] Can you guess which one that is? Yes, the parable of the Prodigal Son, the parable in which we are once again asked to choose between two sons, this time an elder and a younger. While we usually identify with one or the other, the Father in the parable does not have to make a choice between his children. The Father loves both sons. The Father longs for nothing more than to have both sons with him always. Even Ezekiel, whose language is full of the unfortunate “tit for tat” kind of divine justice, allows God to plead with his wayward people: “For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone …Turn, then, and live.”
Our loving God offers life to all of his children, not chores and obligations. Our God doesn’t storm back in from the grocery store wanting to show us who’s boss. Our God invites us, as many times as is necessary, to get dressed in the borrowed robes of Jesus, to turn our faces from the lifeless computer screen, and to join him freely and joyfully in the deeds of love that will bring about his Kingdom. Just a little hesitation, a tiny split-second crack of openness to the future, that’s all it takes, and God will empty into us the ever out-pouring, ever in-gathering mind of Christ. As St. Paul points out, with God at work in us, there’s no limit to what we can do. In hindsight, I wonder how my children would have reacted if I had given them a joyful hug and a kiss as I walked out that door?


 [1] http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/18/sports/football/nfl.html?_r=0
[2] David Lose, “Pentecost 16A: Promising an open future.” Found at http://www.davidlose.net/2014/09/pentecost-16a-open-future/
[3] Bernard Brandon Scott, Hear then the Parable (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1989), 85.

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